blame it on the times

When you look at the stars what do you see?
I see you, I see a classic flashback of all the things that we have shared. I see the way you hold yourself against me when it's cold outside. I see the way you look at me after I kissed you for the first time and you knew I meant it when I told you I loved you. I see the way you hold my hand and all the butterflies never seem to go away. I see the first time I had set eyes on you in over a month and my heart jumped. I see how much I miss you when I can't see you everyday. I see how jealous I become when you mention "him".
The stars shine so bright for you. Just so I can remember. Just so I can keep you close to my heart. Keep you in my pocket and wear the rest of me on my sleeve. There is somethng different about you that I can't just go and replace. Something that means more than the rest. I tried to run, for your sake, and I ran right back into your arms. I am Jack's mended heart.






I am so scared these days... no, not scared...horrified... Scared that there is someone with a cleaner plate than me. How can I convince you when i wear such tattered clothes? He's so clean, so pressed, flawless to a perfection... I am playing it safe, better not to talk about it and bring up my insecurities, my jealousy. My stomache hurts everytime you say ya'll kissed. My head throbs when I hear he was in your bed. How can I react to that? Honestly.... I want to beat the everliving out of him... no matter what else is said. But i wont...cant... its not my place, and will never be...





I love you... end

insecurity under the lines of solitude

If these walls could talk, I wouldn't listen. How can you take life so seriously? There is so much out there, so many things... accomplishments that I want to achieve. Why is it that you have to have a "real job" and the things you love have to be a hobby? Since when is that anything that has ever had a standard set to it? Why do I have to set myself to the standards that are expected of me? Since when does a steady job consist of something that I cannot stand. Why is that so commonly accepted. I have never been able to make myself try 100% with something I cannot stand, I simply will not do it. I know who I am, I know what I want. Why is it so hard for others to support a decision that I, myself make? Why must I follow the paths that have been so carefully cut for me by my parents, grandparents, family... Is that really what I need to do? NO!!!! I will not break my back for something I don't believe in any longer.

``` No longer will he form to fit the mold. Destiny becons closer, breathing hot down his neck as he walks. Not unlike the rest, he knows what but grows tired as the fight continues on. Hope is nearly lost, but still... there is something underneath the surface. Glowing warm with satisfaction and desire. Something great and powerful, you will see....

I sail these seas of empty streets pondering the world.
The souls fire is gone with the shadows of age.
Where is there hope?
Only brush now lives, occupying any crevace of the bricks.
The roads now haunted only with lifelessness.
The life that once exsisted now has moved on to greater things.
Past does not matter when future calls.


Cant think anymore.. done for the day